Smart

Sometimes people ask me, "Steph, what's it like to live with such smart men?" I'll tell ya, it's not easy, as some of these latest feats will show. Let's start with Abe. He recently read his first book, all the way by himself. Granted, this was no James Michener novel (all in good time), but pretty hefty stuff for a three-and-a-half year old. He told me in church today that "seatbelt" starts with "C". He's smart in his own special way.



Next we have Ben. Now, his recent accomplishment is nothing to brush under the rug. Ben is a published author! And in the ever-popular magazine "Biomacromolecules", to boot! That's one that's soon to be found on every coffee table, to be sure. What I can't get over, however, is how a man gets published when he can't even spell his name right. When questioned by his puzzled wife as to how he managed to overlook such an important detail, he answered in typical Ben(jiman) style - "I know how to spell my own name. Why would I need to proofread that part?" Ummm, I'll just let that one go...

Finally, we have Hank. His big accomplishment as of late? Being the best-suited person in the house to listen to his big brother's constant chatter without losing his mind. It is so nice to have somewhere else to send Abe when my ears can't take any more. Hank thinks it's the greatest thing since breastmilk to have his brother's undivided attention, and Abe is happy to oblige.


So it's really hard being a woman in a home surrounded by men who are too smart for their own good. It's hard to see them taking themselves so seriously - sometimes I think they've forgotten how to relax and have fun. Abe can't even concentrate without making faces anymore. And remember, brothers and sisters of mine who ever bother to read this blog, how Dad always told us he lost his hair because his brain got so hot from thinking that it burned it off? It seems there's another side effect to thinking too much...





If that's not a face that's ready for world domination, I don't know what is. Move over, Pinky and the Brain.

Prepare to meet your baker

The other day, as we were driving in the car, Abe was eating his pretzels-wheat and honey-when he stopped, looked at his snack and said, "Heavenly Father put a lot of salt on my pretzels." I guess we have to be more explicit when we tell our children that Heavenly Father gave us everything that we have.
Abe really has a prematurely geeky sense of humor. A few weeks ago, when he surveyed his toy race car he asked me, "Papa, is this a toy?" "Yes, " I told him. "Is it a TOY-OTA?" he asked with a big grin on his face. And yesterday he was wearing his mother's watch at the dinner table and, checking the time on his wrist he told us, "It's seven o'clock. Actually, it's seven o'watch."
As impressive as we think Abe's growth is, Hank is literally phenomenal. I'm convinced that Hank has overcome the law of conservation of matter. Theoretically, whatever comes out of an infant cannot be more than what goes into him. Yet Hank poops, pees and spits up way more than he eats and yet continues to grow. I think I'll write a paper and send it into Science Magazine.
Here's a picture of Hank playing peek-a-boo with Abe who is eating his dinner.
And here's a picture of the two of them together lying down on Hank's soft blanket.

At the aquarium and Abe's reading progress

Last week, we went to the Denver aquarium. Below is a picture of Abe standing in front of the piranha tank. I have copied some dialog from an older Mike Meyers movie. I felt it appropriate because, not only do these fish look like ill-tempered, mutated sea bass with laser eyes, but also because Abe, before he had grown any hair, had been compared to Lex Luther, the archetype to inspire "Dr. Evil."Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
Number Two: Sea Bass.
Dr. Evil: [pause] Right.
Number Two: They're mutated sea bass.
Dr. Evil: Are they ill tempered?
Number Two: Absolutely.
Dr. Evil: Oh well, that's a start.

Here's another picture of Abe looking at a fish from under a bubble viewer. In other Abe-related news, he has been eagerly sounding out and reading words-it, along with riding his bike, has become his favorite activity. At church we have him read words from the program; it is so exciting to see him so pleased with himself when he discovers what a particularly long word says. Last week, Stephanie was singing in our meeting and so I showed Abe where it said Fairbanks in the program and I told him "That is how you spell Fairbanks." He studied the word for a minute and asked me, a little disappointed, "Where's the 'X,' Papa?" I thought that Abe is right and that "Fairbanx" was a more concise spelling of our name and accordingly have changed the spelling on this blog.
Oh, and just yesterday Abe was reciting words that started with "Q": "queen, quiet, quoperate (cooperate)...." He's a lot of fun.

Easter Fun and Baby Blessing

As is characteristic of our family, this post (and more to come) is quite after-the-fact, but like the best birthdays, the fact that it is belated allows us to enjoy it a little longer than convention normally allows. Our Easter celebrations here in Colorado started the week before with the annual CU Police Department Egg Hunt (they started calling it the "Spring Egg Hunt" - how lame). It was quite cold but fun as usual. And, for the third year in a row, when the Easter Bunny and MacGruff the Crime Dog showed up, we were able to get a picture of a lone little boy, apart from the droves of children fawning over the somewhat freaky visitors, admiring the CUPD SUV. Yep, that's our boy, Abe.



Oh, and yes, that is a pumpkin trick-or-treating bucket he's holding - we keep forgetting to get Easter baskets on clearance each year since Abe hasn't really cared whether or not he had one, so we had to make do with what we had. Here's our Pumpkin Head showing off his haul. He really had a lot of fun, which is good since we didn't have time to do an egg hunt of our own at home on Easter morning.




Why didn't we have time? Because we blessed Hank on Easter Sunday (and had to make time for creamed eggs on toast, of course)! Mom and Dad were able to come, and we had a lot of fun coloring eggs with them the night before, as well as making granola (does Mom make this at everyone's house when she visits? Just wondering...). Abe loves it when Little Grandma comes to visit because she'll let him make a mess in the kitchen, she makes all kinds of treats, and she lets him eat sugar out of the canister. Well, she puts a little on the counter for him to stick his finger in and lick off, but it's practically the same thing.






Hank wasn't too impressed with the whole weekend, but he's really not impressed with much yet, so we know better than to be offended. He did a great job of being quiet during the blessing, and Ben gave a beautiful blessing. Ben's sister and her family were able to come as well, so it was a really special day.

Grandma's News

We've recently had a humbling experience in our family. I think Ben and I have gone out of our way to not fall into the "American Idol" trap and we've done a really good job, even going so far as unashamedly making fun of Mom for being such a fan of the show. Well, ever since she spent two weeks with us after Hank was born, not only has Abe been asking every night to watch "Grandma's News" (which he is seen doing in the picture), but Ben and I actually turned it on of our own accord this week and watched it *gasp* both nights. I can justify this, though - Ben has been a huge Beatles fan since he was a kid and we were interested to see the takes on some of the songs. Plus, we wanted to see how those two Mormon kids were faring. Some of those performances were just amazing. Before any of you skeptics roll your eyes too far into your head, check out the video of my favorite performance of the night ("American Idol - Chikezie" under Links We Like). I was so stoked watching this that I didn't even yell at Ben when he forgot I had Enrichment and brought the car home thirty minutes late (even though I reminded him right before he left, but I digress). Truly amazing talent. So if you haven't watched the show, give it a chance before you make fun of someone who appreciates one of the only "safe" things left to watch on TV.

Some new photos for the blog:Abe inspecting his new baby brother for the first time.

Abe with Papa and the snowman they built with Grandma
Family photo... really, Ben is on the phone.
Abe with his Home Depot projects: a fire engine, a stool and a race car.

Henry Yates Fairbanks

So far this blog has held some kind of record for most neglected website in the world. Well, here is my minimal effort to pass on that undistinguished title to some other lazy nerd.
We have a new addition to our family: Henry (Hank) Yates Fairbanks
At 8lbs 8oz he holds the greatest volume (decibel) to mass ratio of any member of our family.
He was born at home at 6:00 am, February 20, 2008.

Here's a picture of the rest of our family (since there wasn't one up here previously).