Oh, the Irony!

Remember Alanis Morissette’s 1996 rock anthem, Ironic? You know – the one where the lyrics are chock-full of coincidences and almost completely devoid of irony?

Still not convinced? The definition of ironic is…too difficult to explain. So I’ll use an example instead:

My sister, Kendall, for years and years would send out a family email, nine months before her birthday (June 10^th), asking for a niece or nephew from her married siblings. Now, several nieces and nephews have been born on other of Kendall and my siblings’ (or spouses’) birthdays, but never on Kendall’s. So she continued the emails, until several years ago, it became apparent that for some folks in the family, some things that should be easy and natural were not, at which point she tactfully and thoughtfully stopped sending them.

So where is the irony in this situation?

Fairbanks Child #3

EDD 6/10/12

Happy Birthday, Kendall!

And because Ben and I are just that generous…

BONUS! Fairbanks Child #4

EDD 6/10/12

(No, we don't know the genders, and no, we don't know if they're identical or fraternal. But we'll find out in January.)

At this point, we should probably conclude that while getting rid of every last baby and maternity item, moving halfway across the world, and finally coming to peace with being a family of four are interesting (and somewhat unfortunate) coincidences – much like the lyrics to Alanis’s song – true irony can be deliciously sweet.

Happy Halloween!

Pumpkins from a couple Halloweens ago. No way are we paying $3.99/kilo for a jack-o-lantern here.

Halloween is fast becoming a hot topic in Australia. Alright, who knows - maybe it's been a hot topic for years, but it is still a big debate: to Halloween or to not? I spent a lot of time in the car yesterday running various errands, so I got to hear a lot of talk radio. Every single show featured the host asking people to call in and give their opinions about Halloween. Some of the hosts were for it, but by and large, they were vocally and adamantly opposed. Now, not having grown up in a culture where it's perfectly normal this one night per year for little children to dress up in costumes and go knock on complete strangers' doors and beg for candy, I could see the reasoning in some of their arguments. But then there were the folks who were angry about yet another American import hitting Australian soils, seeing it as a money-grubbing opportunity for stores (which is ironic considering that the Christmas merchandise has been completely set up and in full swing for over a week now) and a certain loss of identity for Australian children.

I've always been one who's been bothered by Americans' tendencies to see an opportunity to adopt yet another holiday from another country for which Hallmark can sell cards and everyone has another excuse to party and get sloshed for a night (Cinco de Mayo, anyone?), but I gotta say, I'm glad for Australian children that Halloween is gaining popularity. First of all, with all the British traditions that Australia has - SO many - Halloween should just be considered another one of those. It's not an American holiday, after all. And second, it's just a fabulous holiday, full stop. I mean, too much candy and crap aside, is there any child or parent that really, REALLY hates Halloween? Okay, I'm sure there is the odd Scrooge out there, but by and large, it's just so fun!

Well, as one pro-Halloween caller on the radio said yesterday, it seems Halloween is here to stay. We had ONE trick-or-treater last year and didn't even bother making the boys costumes. I saw no merchandise in the stores. This year was a total turnaround - I noticed a huge increase in availability of Halloween decorations and costumes, and we had tons of kids come to our door last night. So many that I committed the unpardonable sin of running out of candy, which meant I had to dig into our stash of Tim Tams and hand those out. Our ward held a Boot 'n Loot activity ("trunks" are called "boots" here, after all) which was not only well attended, but showed some of the most impressively-decorated car trunks I've ever seen. Every parent and child there and every parent and child that came to our door to trick-or-treat was so happy, having so much fun. In the end, isn't that what Halloween is all about? So I say to Australia if you're going to reject American imports, get rid of the Justin Biebers, the McDonald's, and crappy American television shows. But please, please - accept Halloween with open arms.

As for Abe and Hank, we've had a sick week (which is why I'm blogging at this insane hour - too much congestion and coughing to be able to sleep), so Halloween was sort of a rush preparation. But I think we did well, all things considered.

Danny and the Dinosaur

(AKA Danny and the Chicken or Hank and the Dinosaur)

Ned Kelly

Happy Gap Day: Our First Year

October 2010

Gap Year is not such a common term in the US; we’d never heard it until we moved here where it is quite common. Our personal interpretation of it is that it’s a journey of sorts, time off from reality while making the transition from one phase in life to another. For us, that day was October 26th, 2010. Actually, we never really even had that day. We got on the plane in Los Angeles on October 25th where we suppose the clock changed to the 26th at some point as we were speeding over the Pacific towards the International Date Line. When we got off the plane in Melbourne, it was the 27th, and it was as if the 26th hadn’t happened at all.

Why all this explanation? Because as you can see by the dates, today is the one-year anniversary of our Gap Day, the day between when we left all we knew behind and the day before we arrived in this often-strange and (almost) always-wonderful country of Australia. We’ve never sent a Christmas letter and we’re pretty terrible bloggers (sorry ‘bout that), but reflecting on this day one year ago and all that has happened since, we thought it would be a good idea to let our friends and families in on the mundane and significant happenings in our lives. Some things have followed us from the US and continue to be challenges and blessings here, but some are new and definitely a product of living in this place.

We’ll start with Ben. He continues to be somewhat-gainfully employed as a postdoctoral researcher at CSIRO. His work is largely centered around radical polymers (as opposed to lame polymers) and as with any research position, it is a LOT of work with very little positive gain. He does enjoy the atmosphere there and has gotten used to the two teas per working day (morning and afternoon) as well as mandatory weekends and holidays off. As in, he cannot physically go into work. (Stephanie is still in awe at having her husband home fully two days of the week, and sometimes even several days at a time.) He rides his bike to work every day, rain or shine, and has managed to produce only three flat tires in that time. At church, Ben is a counselor in the Young Men’s program, which he is enjoying. He comes home from church and mutual every week commenting about how impressive the kids in the program are; he loves teaching and interacting with them. In his spare time, Ben has also converted a good deal of previously-overgrown backyard into vegetable patches. Yes, the green thumb he cultivated in Colorado has proven to be equally productive here, especially since the growing season is nearly twice as long.

Steph is in charge of the rest of the lawn and flower patches, and is unfortunately not the landscape architect this yard needs. She has learned how to care for the roses, but in fits of frustration with the square yardage of weeds mixed with actual plants has managed to pull up entire sections of the garden that used to be, leaving huge bare spots in her wake. She will eventually figure out what to do with them. In the meantime, she is focusing her attention and energy on the boys and their various comings and goings. There is always an appointment to go to, or a meeting, or a volunteering afternoon, or something to keep her busy at their schools and other activities. Steph always wanted to be a PTA mom, but since there is no such thing here, she has joined the closest thing, the Parent Group, at Abe’s school. She is looking forward to introducing PTA-like ideas to the group and getting more interaction and communication going between the parents and teachers. Steph also uses her (NEW!!) bike as much as possible, recently having won a Real Riders’ sponsorship from Giant. Between her constant toting the bike trailer (with Hank) around as well as riding her stationary bike regularly, she’s trimmed a bit of excess since our arrival, which she not only credits to the exercise, but also to the lack of American-style Costco frosting. In her spare time, Steph has kept up with satisfying her musical appetite by volunteering in the music spot every week in one of Hank’s playgroups, teaching a couple piano students, plays her violin in a the Melbourne Regional Orchestra (which practices at the stake center on the temple grounds every other week – lovely!), and has become a regular organist/pianist in the ward. This is probably all to take her mind off her official church calling – Enrichment counselor in the Relief Society – which provides unlimited opportunities to teach her how far she still has to go in living up to her mom’s standard of excellence in church service.

Abe (7) is, as has been documented in this blog ad nauseum, obsessed as ever with footy. So much so that he his collection of footballs now numbers eight and his constant playing has literally killed patches of grass in the lawn, leaving bare dirt. He has not neglected his intellect entirely – nearing the end of Grade 1 now, he is adept at multiplication and division, as well as teaching his parents new and interesting (and successful) ways of adding and subtracting huge numbers. He and a classmate of similar skill level are sent to Grade 2 each week for maths, where they are constantly showing up with older kids with their abilities. This week he earned his second Gold certificate of the school year in Mathletics, an award that he earned by practicing his maths for hours on the computer. He is also reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone nightly with Steph and always has a stack of books he’s working through on his bedside table. Abe began piano lessons this year and has come to understand the annoyance of being the child of a trained music teacher; Steph is not teaching him, but she monitors his practice each day. Under her watchful ear, he is advancing quickly and is learning to love having this new skill.

Which brings us to Hank (3.5). He has perhaps had the most life-altering year of us all. As many of you know, Hank was diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder around his second birthday. In the US, he began receiving services immediately through Early Intervention, but we had to stop those when we left Boulder in August. Two months in Missouri with Steph’s parents, and then four months here settling in and getting used to all the life changes we’d just made, and Hank’s therapies were on the backburner. In February, Stephanie finally started calling around to get his therapies back on track as it was becoming apparent that Hank’s skills, especially with speech, were slipping backwards. Apparently in Australia, there is a $12,000 credit to parents of children with Autism, money that they can put towards the various therapies and services that a child on the spectrum needs. All of which is just great if you’re a resident, and a financial and logistical nightmare if you’re not. Obviously, we fit into the second category, and it has been a constant battle to get Hank the help he needs. We have been blessed, however, to fall into the company of a few therapists and teachers that go above and beyond their duties to help us make sure Hank has access to the therapies and services he needs. In particular, Hank’s kinder teacher and a facilitator at one of his playgroups have been enormously helpful, advocating heavily for Hank’s cause to the powers that be. In the meantime, the things we have been able to provide for him (speech and occupational therapies, play groups, kinder) have helped him so much. He has miles to go – and we have so much yet to learn and understand about his condition – but we are making progress. He is still a snuggly, loving, gorgeous boy who loves learning to ride his bike, reading Go, Dog, Go!, and keeping up a constant chatter about kitties, moons, and stars.

So that’s us and what we’ve been up to. Since you’re probably wondering, we can list the things we miss about the US, but surprisingly, it’s a short list. We’ve found substitutions for just about everything, or else decided we’re better off without them anyway. Obviously, family and friends are at the top of the list of what we really miss. Ben’s mom was here for an all-too-short visit a few weeks ago, and that’s the first family we’ve seen in a year. Thank heavens for Skype and Google phone, though – love those services. Another irreplaceable (and believe us – we’ve looked EVERYWHERE) is true blue American bacon. Seriously – you have no idea how much a part of our food lexicon bacon is until you simply cannot have it. We’ve recently been told about a burrito place twenty minutes away that has authentic Chipotle-style burritos, so in good faith, we’re going to check that off our list of things for which we pine. In general, shopping can be a frustrating experience for two reasons: American prices are honestly ridiculously low (how in the world did we ever complain about the price of anything??) and most stores here are only open past 5pm on Thursday and Friday nights, which means almost all errands have to be run with children in tow.

But really – that’s all we have to miss. And if that’s all, then we’re pretty dang lucky. So stay tuned for the next year to see how we survive the changes that are sure to come. And of course, there are plenty more adventures to be had (and blogged about) in this amazing place we have come to call “home”.

October 2011

Father's Day

Both in America and Down Under, Mothers' Day is observed in May. However, in Australia Fathers' Day is celebrated not in June, but in September. I tried to convince Stephanie that we should have two Fathers' Days as choosing only one would turn our back on our American heritage or offend the sensitivities of our host nation. Stephanie wasn't buying, stating "when in Rome..." or some such wet blanket babble. So I had to wait until September for my Fathers' Day.

But it was worth the wait. Actually, it couldn't have been much better! I received gifts from the kids - a mug from Hank and a picture from Abe.

For dinner we had meat pie, pea and potato mash and salad - a real Aussie meal.

And we finished it off with some delicious carrot cake that Stephanie made.

It was great to have a day where my family recognized my role as father, but even better to reflect on how blessed I am to be a father. It's the best job I'll ever have.

(posted by Ben using Steph's account)

A Farewell to Auskick

Back in March, we signed Abe up for Auskick-a community Australian Rules Football (footy) program for primary school children. Abe was a bit ambivalent at first. Because he hadn't really played before, he was worried that he would embarrass himself with less-than-perfect kicking and marking (catching) skills. But the new footy, bag and cap that came with registration really got him in the spirit.

At Auskick, Abe learned the basics of kicking and marking (shown in the red and blue jersey) and hand-passing and bouncing. Notice all the different jerseys being worn - each kid wore their favorite team's colors with pride every week. They were a colorful bunch.

We had the camera rolling at a recent match and caught Abe putting those skills to use.

He practiced so much at home that that shiny new footy from March was reduced to this in a matter of a few short months. We've also had to put limits on how often he can play at home because he has almost killed all the grass in our front yard. Two hours a day after school - every single day - will do that to a lawn.

Alas, Auskick has come to an end. The awards ceremony is in a week and we will post some pictures of that celebration. But the purpose of this post is to reflect on and mourn the passing of this activity which has filled our Saturday mornings since April (we didn't even get a break for Easter!). The final Auskick match pitted parents against kids. Here's Abe and Ben going for the ball.

Here's Abe in motion. We anticipate hearing "Who wants to kick the footy with me?" three hundred times an hour as Abe acclimates to the loss of his very favorite two hours of the week.

Coach Charles (what a great guy) says goodbye to the kids. Hopefully, he'll coach the year 2s next year. Doesn't that boy next to Abe (right of center) look a little too young for this crowd? Hank loved sitting next to his brother during announcements, and I think that Abe appreciated the adoration.

Since it was a special day, we marked the occasion with traditional Aussie barbie that's served up at the end of every Saturday morning's practice: snag (sausage) on white bread with grilled onion for Steph...

Just tomato sauce (ketchup... or is it catsup?) for Abe.

Perfect way to end the season. Thank you, Australia, for Auskick.

Urban Penguins

From time to time we marvel at how close we are to the Antarctic. Here in Melbourne we are closer to the South Pole than we have ever lived to the North Pole. As evidence of our proximity to the World’s bottom, the southern coast of Australia is home to the world’s smallest penguin. Most of these penguins reside on islands off the mainland, but one exception are the St. Kilda Little "Fairy" Penguins,which not only make their homes on the continent, but a mere 15 minutes from Downtown Melbourne (about 15 minutes from our house). We visited them recently during a warm winter evening because like every other interesting animal in Australia, the best time to see them is at dusk. (Ironically, not because they're coming out to eat like all the other animals, but because they're coming back to their burrows after a day out in the water.) We spent a few minutes playing footy on the beach until the sky looked like this:

Then we walked down the pier and onto the breakwater where, from a wooden platform (no child-safe rail here - Steph was totally loving that) we could see the penguins swim up to the rocks in which they nest.

The penguins at St. Kilda do not waddle up on the sand like they do on the more popular (for tourists) Philip Island, but hop from rock to rock. But they're a lot closer and cheaper - just right for the Fairbanks family.

Supposedly, the penguins do not like camera flashes so most of our pictures look like this:

But it is impossible to remember to turn the flash off for every photograph.

Of Bikkies and Brekkies

Australians have nicknames for everything. It is a defining characteristic of the Australian vernacular. Football is footy. Mosquitoes are mozzies. The grocery store isn’t Woolworths; it’s Woolies. Some of these diminutives really make us giggle, like when the radio talk show host was complaining that it was so cold that he had to sleep with a "hottie" in his bed (see the previous link for translation). This nicknaming extends to Australian wildlife as well. For example, the largest predator on the continent, the saltwater crocodile, is a “salty.” Even knowing this, we got a really good laugh out of this recent headline:

I guess until this article came out I had supposed the world’s biggest wedgie would be found in some school building between the cheeks of the unfortunate victim.

To learn more about Aussie English, click here. And here's some more slang, just because it's fun. I challenge you to use one new word or phrase in conversation today.