Happy Gap Day: Our First Year

October 2010

Gap Year is not such a common term in the US; we’d never heard it until we moved here where it is quite common. Our personal interpretation of it is that it’s a journey of sorts, time off from reality while making the transition from one phase in life to another. For us, that day was October 26th, 2010. Actually, we never really even had that day. We got on the plane in Los Angeles on October 25th where we suppose the clock changed to the 26th at some point as we were speeding over the Pacific towards the International Date Line. When we got off the plane in Melbourne, it was the 27th, and it was as if the 26th hadn’t happened at all.

Why all this explanation? Because as you can see by the dates, today is the one-year anniversary of our Gap Day, the day between when we left all we knew behind and the day before we arrived in this often-strange and (almost) always-wonderful country of Australia. We’ve never sent a Christmas letter and we’re pretty terrible bloggers (sorry ‘bout that), but reflecting on this day one year ago and all that has happened since, we thought it would be a good idea to let our friends and families in on the mundane and significant happenings in our lives. Some things have followed us from the US and continue to be challenges and blessings here, but some are new and definitely a product of living in this place.

We’ll start with Ben. He continues to be somewhat-gainfully employed as a postdoctoral researcher at CSIRO. His work is largely centered around radical polymers (as opposed to lame polymers) and as with any research position, it is a LOT of work with very little positive gain. He does enjoy the atmosphere there and has gotten used to the two teas per working day (morning and afternoon) as well as mandatory weekends and holidays off. As in, he cannot physically go into work. (Stephanie is still in awe at having her husband home fully two days of the week, and sometimes even several days at a time.) He rides his bike to work every day, rain or shine, and has managed to produce only three flat tires in that time. At church, Ben is a counselor in the Young Men’s program, which he is enjoying. He comes home from church and mutual every week commenting about how impressive the kids in the program are; he loves teaching and interacting with them. In his spare time, Ben has also converted a good deal of previously-overgrown backyard into vegetable patches. Yes, the green thumb he cultivated in Colorado has proven to be equally productive here, especially since the growing season is nearly twice as long.

Steph is in charge of the rest of the lawn and flower patches, and is unfortunately not the landscape architect this yard needs. She has learned how to care for the roses, but in fits of frustration with the square yardage of weeds mixed with actual plants has managed to pull up entire sections of the garden that used to be, leaving huge bare spots in her wake. She will eventually figure out what to do with them. In the meantime, she is focusing her attention and energy on the boys and their various comings and goings. There is always an appointment to go to, or a meeting, or a volunteering afternoon, or something to keep her busy at their schools and other activities. Steph always wanted to be a PTA mom, but since there is no such thing here, she has joined the closest thing, the Parent Group, at Abe’s school. She is looking forward to introducing PTA-like ideas to the group and getting more interaction and communication going between the parents and teachers. Steph also uses her (NEW!!) bike as much as possible, recently having won a Real Riders’ sponsorship from Giant. Between her constant toting the bike trailer (with Hank) around as well as riding her stationary bike regularly, she’s trimmed a bit of excess since our arrival, which she not only credits to the exercise, but also to the lack of American-style Costco frosting. In her spare time, Steph has kept up with satisfying her musical appetite by volunteering in the music spot every week in one of Hank’s playgroups, teaching a couple piano students, plays her violin in a the Melbourne Regional Orchestra (which practices at the stake center on the temple grounds every other week – lovely!), and has become a regular organist/pianist in the ward. This is probably all to take her mind off her official church calling – Enrichment counselor in the Relief Society – which provides unlimited opportunities to teach her how far she still has to go in living up to her mom’s standard of excellence in church service.

Abe (7) is, as has been documented in this blog ad nauseum, obsessed as ever with footy. So much so that he his collection of footballs now numbers eight and his constant playing has literally killed patches of grass in the lawn, leaving bare dirt. He has not neglected his intellect entirely – nearing the end of Grade 1 now, he is adept at multiplication and division, as well as teaching his parents new and interesting (and successful) ways of adding and subtracting huge numbers. He and a classmate of similar skill level are sent to Grade 2 each week for maths, where they are constantly showing up with older kids with their abilities. This week he earned his second Gold certificate of the school year in Mathletics, an award that he earned by practicing his maths for hours on the computer. He is also reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone nightly with Steph and always has a stack of books he’s working through on his bedside table. Abe began piano lessons this year and has come to understand the annoyance of being the child of a trained music teacher; Steph is not teaching him, but she monitors his practice each day. Under her watchful ear, he is advancing quickly and is learning to love having this new skill.

Which brings us to Hank (3.5). He has perhaps had the most life-altering year of us all. As many of you know, Hank was diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder around his second birthday. In the US, he began receiving services immediately through Early Intervention, but we had to stop those when we left Boulder in August. Two months in Missouri with Steph’s parents, and then four months here settling in and getting used to all the life changes we’d just made, and Hank’s therapies were on the backburner. In February, Stephanie finally started calling around to get his therapies back on track as it was becoming apparent that Hank’s skills, especially with speech, were slipping backwards. Apparently in Australia, there is a $12,000 credit to parents of children with Autism, money that they can put towards the various therapies and services that a child on the spectrum needs. All of which is just great if you’re a resident, and a financial and logistical nightmare if you’re not. Obviously, we fit into the second category, and it has been a constant battle to get Hank the help he needs. We have been blessed, however, to fall into the company of a few therapists and teachers that go above and beyond their duties to help us make sure Hank has access to the therapies and services he needs. In particular, Hank’s kinder teacher and a facilitator at one of his playgroups have been enormously helpful, advocating heavily for Hank’s cause to the powers that be. In the meantime, the things we have been able to provide for him (speech and occupational therapies, play groups, kinder) have helped him so much. He has miles to go – and we have so much yet to learn and understand about his condition – but we are making progress. He is still a snuggly, loving, gorgeous boy who loves learning to ride his bike, reading Go, Dog, Go!, and keeping up a constant chatter about kitties, moons, and stars.

So that’s us and what we’ve been up to. Since you’re probably wondering, we can list the things we miss about the US, but surprisingly, it’s a short list. We’ve found substitutions for just about everything, or else decided we’re better off without them anyway. Obviously, family and friends are at the top of the list of what we really miss. Ben’s mom was here for an all-too-short visit a few weeks ago, and that’s the first family we’ve seen in a year. Thank heavens for Skype and Google phone, though – love those services. Another irreplaceable (and believe us – we’ve looked EVERYWHERE) is true blue American bacon. Seriously – you have no idea how much a part of our food lexicon bacon is until you simply cannot have it. We’ve recently been told about a burrito place twenty minutes away that has authentic Chipotle-style burritos, so in good faith, we’re going to check that off our list of things for which we pine. In general, shopping can be a frustrating experience for two reasons: American prices are honestly ridiculously low (how in the world did we ever complain about the price of anything??) and most stores here are only open past 5pm on Thursday and Friday nights, which means almost all errands have to be run with children in tow.

But really – that’s all we have to miss. And if that’s all, then we’re pretty dang lucky. So stay tuned for the next year to see how we survive the changes that are sure to come. And of course, there are plenty more adventures to be had (and blogged about) in this amazing place we have come to call “home”.

October 2011